Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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