he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
ok first of all what the fuck
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
