i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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