we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
