i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I deserve this hangover.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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