can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I party with great urgency now.
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