Christians are straight up FREAKS
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
it glows. i had to have it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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