Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
