my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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