is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
