Can i not drive my cunt home
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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