I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize