It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The best revenge is premature balding
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
