I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
