Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
