Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
