Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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