Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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