Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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