i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He better not be in your backpack
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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