I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
