Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
