We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
