My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
