so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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