Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize