He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
