At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
