I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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