I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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