You smell like stripper and shame
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
