I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
