I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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