No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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