D3 body, D1 cock
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize