Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you had me at cake vodka
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
