i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
