I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
