my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I wish there were birth control emojis
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
