Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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