Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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