Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Bring me that man meat
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
