I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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