I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
