I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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