you guys were way drunker than both of me
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
