No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize