He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
