Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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