the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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