If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
