I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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