yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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