we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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