This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
