let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
