you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
