Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
